May 2010
1 post
A Christian Comic book Nerd’s Review of Kick-Ass.
I know what you are thinking, how could a Christian watch a movie called “Kick-Ass”? I can tell you this, it was an interesting adventure for myself. I have always had a strange interaction with film and my faith and this movie was just another “experience” for me in that journey. On the comic book nerd/action nerd inside of me; I loved this film. Some of the characters did seem a bit “larger”...
February 2010
9 posts
This song has been stuck in my head for about a...
day 2
Today I wrestled with the idea of being deceived by God. I was reading through Jeremiah 20:7 and in amidst the laments of Jeremiah, he asks God… God did you deceive me and I was deceived? This is where my tension began, because when I was going through my hard times of December, I was upset with God because I felt like God did deceive me. That God had laid me in the ruins and I was in pain...
day 1
To ashes we go because from ashes we came. As life moves forward how quickly do we forget from which we came. How quickly do we forget that at the base of who we are is who we were. we can’t escape our past. we can’t. If today’s culture isn’t a big enough reminder (see John Edwards), our skeletons will come out of the closet. Our secrets will get out.. but there isn’t...
I woke up saying that God did not prepare me for...
I know, that we all know this feeling. This is how I awoke this morning, if some news late last night about a friend of someone; that God has not prepared me for this.
But in a way I know he has. It is so interesting to me, in seminary it seems that there is less and less focus on the pastoral and more on the academic. I can tell you about the differences of beliefs on whether we have a soul or...
ami goldhammer gave me this quote from someone else
“You live your own life according to the law, but you give grace to others.”
it was just interesting in the context to what i have been wrestling with.
On personal holiness
In such great tension I dwell, between the law and grace. This is why I became a methodist in the first place. I could understand Wesley’s view on grace, but also, his need for personal piety. But my struggle is that, I cannot draw my lines. I cannot stay rigid on one side or another.
On one hand, I know that there is grace alone. We are saved by grace alone and it is only the grace given...
A dream from a Couple days ago
So I have been being spoken to a lot in dreams lately. As posted earlier, you got my latest one, but a couple of days ago. I had another.
I prayed for clarity on my relationship with Candace again and that what we were doing was ok.
I was back in GA and I had these special glasses on. (they were actually the glasses that John Stewart wore when he did his oberman impression, the lightup 2010...
January 2010
4 posts
What I had for dinner.
This is what she made for me:
Fried Okra (the batter was a cajun dip) Chicken that had a Cajun Rub on it and she sliced the breast and put BACON inside it… yes, BACON INSIDE THE CHICKEN WHILE IT COOKED. Green beans that were oiled and baconized. and a home made Chile paste for dipping.
Then for desert
She made me an ice cream pie… with banana ice cream and chocolate ice cream with...
You use the truth as a weapon to beat up all your...
So over this last week, I have been trying to do more work. I have been trying to keep up in my studies and keep on top of everything, but yet, I find myself distracted. I find myself worrying. I find myself apprehensive about my own future.
I still have to find a CPE. (My only call back has been from IA). I still have to figure out what I am doing after that CPE. Still got to continue on my...
A post FYE
I’m eating Frosted Circus Animal cookies for breakfast. And I wonder why I am not losing weight?
But you know what? It doesn’t matter because I am happy. More and More, as I live my life and as I remember what it is to take the next step, I am happy. I am happy that God has given me friendship. God has given me relationships. God has given me so much.
I remember giving a sermon at...
Standing at the start of a new year.
As I have been told, countless times, that the year 25 is your best. And as of right now, I am beginning to believe it. Over the last month, dealing with my own birthday, my Christmas and a new year… I have been given a new lens in which to view things.
Over break, in Iowa, I caught up with two people that I had great shame in dealing with. I sat and I talked to Alicia after two years of...
December 2009
7 posts
a banner year
If you were to ask me 6 months ago, how I felt like life was going, I would of been able to respond with nothing but a grin. I was approaching my last year of seminary, I had just got engaged and I had my future planned out and I was going to be able to succeed in it.
in the last 6 months: -my fiance left me -my future plans had to all be changed -my grandma will be dieing shortly (next couple...
I’ll see your heart, and I’ll raise...
I have had many interesting conversations on relationships as of late. I understand the obvious. I am going through what is the process of salvaging a heart that was weathered by a hurricane Mandy. And when it comes to these natural disasters, who really does have control? is it God? Did God send this hurricane or was it just the natural cause of life?
I will not dwell on these thoughts, for they...
no.
at the end of everything.
As advent comes, I wait for Emmanuel. I do believe that it is fitting that his quarter leads me into advent, because if there was a time that I ever needed to wait for God, it is right now. I am in a place of both hopelessness and great hope. A place of sadness and joy of expectations. To me, this cocktail of emotion can be found throughout Christmas music. One song can be about desperately...
The time I would spend with pictures I would not send. I watched you go from left to right. I followed you all night across my blinds. You’ll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me. You’ll take your steps away with hesitance. Take your steps away from me. I’m making my peace, making it with distance. Maybe that’s a big mistake. You know I’m thinking of...
November 2009
20 posts
On the eve of thankfulness
As we approach tomorrow, I begin to think about what I do have to be thankful for. In the midst of what is going on in my life, I do have to think am I thankful for this? Am I thankful that I have placed in one of the coldest falls that I have ever gone through? In the end, I am.
I am because I have grown. I have gained a whole new perspective on my life. I remember that I didn’t want to...
another reason why there is a God
When I get home, I open my CD player and the CD inside is named “Why I hate Girls” and there is a picture of a girl ripping out a boys heart.
I was so emo. guess it still fits.
I guess sitting at home makes me want to blog. I don’t know what it is that makes me want to do it, but alas, here I am. I am stuck in between the place of being awake for too long and having the whole shock of coming home.
I mean, the last time I was here, she was sleeping in the room next to me. She was running around the house with me and playing with Otis. But you know what? thats done...
just forget me, it’s that simple
:C
Poor Uga VII :C
today
I did look at her blog. but just once.
its progress.
to a woman so heartless
but now i just thought myself into insecurity.
you know those days, when they start out bad.
Well after this morning, I didn’t feel like the day was going to go anywhere. I felt like there was not too much that could bring me out of the slump that I found myself in. But alas, God always works in these ways.
I finished my paper.
Went out and met some new people
talked to some new people
Watched a movie
all in all, I came home today happy…almost satisfied. it’s been...
thoughts
As I sit here (of course in class) and I wonder what is really going on in my heart, I can not help but wonder what brought me here. I had imagined my life taking me somewhere quite else. quite differently. but alas. as life moves. it surely does that and move.
Once again, every day, I have to explain it to someone else. I have to see their eyes break contact; as they can hear the frailty in my...
more words of wisdom
islands friend
let god build what god will build
you can’t make a bridge when the materials are all bad
that should be your rule
Listen
Words of wisdom
here is how I see it:
IT doesn’t matter how she feels and what not because right now
she did you wrong
and if you will EVER be together (and I am neither for nor against this p.s.) I do think she needs to fully buy in and fully put herself in this
in a new way
and the only way to see if she ever does that
is by blowing all the bridges to hell
and seeing if she can still get from where...
tomorrow's goal
No checking her blog. I mean it self.
Fiance leaving you CD
Landed - Ben Folds
Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack
Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today - Fall out Boy
Say it to Me Now - Once Soundtrack
Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
Leave - Glens Hansard
Song For The Dumped - Ben Folds Five
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) - Fall out Boy
Hum Hallelujah - Fall out Boy
Rootless Tree - Damien...
We'd hit the bottom, I thought it was my fault, in...
Week one.
For the first three nights, I spent in and out of the bottle. I was completely disabled by what has happened. The best way to describe it, is that I am floating. I’m liminal. I’m in between two different states. It feels like I am going through a mixture of a divorce, a funeral, and a major surgery. For the most part, I don’t know how to react to things.I don’t...
Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack
I’ll start this broken heart I’ll fix it up so it will work again Better than before Then I’ll star in a mystery A tragic tale of all that’s yet to come Fingers crossed there will be love But I get carried away with every day And every fantasy The deeper the wound, The harder I swoon and wish that that was me There’s so much to say But no words to convey The loneliness building...
everywhere I go. →
oh my God…what have I done? What type of man have I become am I still singing your song? your words become a mirror reflects who I am without my own plans. oh my God…lead me where to go because my days have become long and my future I don’t know my path is dark lend me light for I am tired from this fight oh my God…give me your eyes so that I may see what I...
An Untitled Note
I woke up today and you were gone times have changed and so has our song i’m singing alone now my echos resound and without your harmony it sounds all wrong And the colors fade my world has changed so has the plans that we made my head is full but my heart is empty and my life is dull. it goes on or say they say but for how long? and where is this brand new day?